


we can't have a universe with no Yaz

by SilverHeart09



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Not Thasmin, although the writers totally missed an opportunity there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-22 07:40:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16593668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverHeart09/pseuds/SilverHeart09
Summary: 'Yaz finds the Doctor sat on the TARDIS floor dunking Oreos into a glass of milk. It’s the middle of the night, or it feels like it, but Yaz’s heart is too heavy, her tears too fresh and she can’t close her eyes without hearing that awful gunshot that ripped through the air like it ripped through her Nani’s heart.'





	we can't have a universe with no Yaz

**Author's Note:**

> This week's episode was so beautiful! The writing in this series is truly extraordinary. Also - Thirteen with a flower <3
> 
> If you like it please leave me a comment/kudos, I always reply :)

Yaz finds the Doctor sat on the TARDIS floor dunking Oreos into a glass of milk. It’s the middle of the night, or it feels like it, but Yaz’s heart is too heavy, her tears too fresh and she can’t close her eyes without hearing that awful gunshot that ripped through the air like it ripped through her Nani’s heart.

The Doctor notices Yaz straight away, she is difficult to miss in her giant pink fluffy jumper, and pats the space next to her. Yaz wonders if she’ll get a slap on the wrist for trying to take an Oreo, Graham got yelled at when he took the Doctor’s brioche bun at breakfast the other morning, but the Doctor offers her the packet and she takes a handful and dunks one into the glass of milk which the Doctor places between the two of them.

There’s a buzzing noise coming from the console behind them and the Doctor has an oil smudge on her chin that makes Yaz think she must be doing some late night (morning?) maintenance. She’s always fixing something on the TARDIS, always fiddling, always mending, never happy.

_We can’t have a universe with no Yaz._

‘I’m sorry,’ Yaz says quietly, breaking the companionable silence that hangs between them.

The Doctor looks confused, her face scrunches and she gives Yaz an inquisitive look.

‘What on earth for?’

Yaz looks down at the Oreo in her hand. A piece of it crumbles into the glass and Yaz moodily compares it to part of her soul falling away. But then the Doctor dunks her finger in and scoops it out, eating it quickly and licking the milk off her fingers. If anybody else had done it Yaz would have called them disgusting, but the Doctor is too bright to be anything but extraordinary.

‘I’m sorry I pressured you into taking me to see my Nani,’ Yaz said, unable to meet the Doctor’s eyes. ‘You warned me, you told me it was a bad idea but I changed your mind. I’m sorry I didn't consider the risks.’

The Doctor laughs, an honest to god laugh that warms Yasmin’s battered soul a little. She has such an infectious laugh, such a cheery personality. She shines like all the stars in the galaxy and Yas honestly can’t believe her luck sometimes. All of the people in the world, all of the cities and planets in the universe and it was a train in Sheffield that the Doctor decided to fall through.

‘You are not at fault, Yaz,’ the Doctor said, pointing a biscuit at her sternly. It’s funny and Yaz laughs, although that’s probably her friend’s intention.

‘Of course you wanted to see your Nani. Who wouldn’t want to go back in time to see members of their family? It’s entirely my fault, Yaz. There’s not a lot I wouldn’t do for you, to be honest, but on this occasion I didn't think it through and I really should have.’

‘I don’t regret it though,’ Yaz said quietly. ‘Is that bad?’

‘Of course not!’ the Doctor exclaims. ‘Who would regret it? You got to see your Nani as a young woman, you were a guest at her wedding!’

‘I should have waited for her to tell me the truth rather than try to find it out for myself,’ Yaz said, not willing to forgive herself just yet.

‘Yeah? And then what would you have told me? “My Nani says there were demons at her wedding”. Do you want to guess what I would have done, Yaz?’

Yaz looks at her, confused, and the Doctor gives her arm a little nudge with her shoulder.

‘I would have gone _straight there_ to find out what she meant by “demons”.’

That does make Yaz smile, and she takes a bite out of her biscuit.

‘What are you doing here, sat in the console room by yourself?’

The Doctor gestures to the console behind them. ‘Systems are calibrating, fiddled around with them a bit, just waiting for the go-ahead to test them.’

‘Go-ahead from who?’

‘The TARDIS.’

‘You’re like an old married couple, I swear.’

The Doctor seems to like that and she cheerfully dunks and then eats another biscuit. Yaz has seen her eat so many biscuits that it’s a wonder her teeth haven’t fallen out. But then, that’s probably where the whole ‘regeneration’ thing comes in handy.

‘How’re you feeling?’ the Doctor asks after a moment, as though it’s just occurred to her that Yaz may have sought her out for comfort.

‘I don’t know,’ Yaz says, honestly. ‘It’s like - it was really nice to meet my Nani when she was my age, to meet _her_ mum, and to be a part of her wedding and meet Prem who I might not have heard about otherwise  - but then, everything that came with it. I feel ashamed that I was so happy to meet her.’

The Doctor nods thoughtfully, as though this is sometimes she understands. The TARDIS pings behind her and she jumps to her feet excitedly, running around the console pressing buttons and flicking switches. Yaz stands up to watch her as she dances about. She always thought that expression was inaccurate, no-one _actually_ dances about, but the Doctor really does. The central column begins to move and the ship groans and wheezes. When Yaz feels the familiar ‘bump’ beneath her feet she turns to the Doctor, who gestures towards the doors.

Yaz steps towards them and opens them a crack. They’re in a field with the most beautiful flowers around them. The sun is high in the sky and it’s a luscious blue with barely a cloud. There’s a ceremony taking place in the distance, Yaz can see rows of chairs laid out neatly and at the front a flower archway, a couple stood underneath it holding hands. She can’t see their faces from this distance and moves to step outside but the Doctor holds her arm gently.

‘Best not,’ she said apologetically. ‘Just in case she sees you.’

Yaz immediately knows where she is and she stares at her Nani as she kisses her new husband. She looks so happy and so beautiful. For a second, Yaz had forgotten that she had found a new love and she hadn’t spent her life mourning the first in misery.

The Doctor tucks an arm across her shoulders and Yaz leans into her. She smells like engine oil and Yaz can feel her hair tickling the side of her face but she instantly feels better. The Doctor makes her feel safe, makes her feel wanted and loved. She is the only person Yaz knows who can instantly make her feel like she’s the most important person in the universe.

‘You shouldn’t feel ashamed, Yaz,’ the Doctor said quietly. ‘It’s easy to forget that lots of people have bad moments in their lives, moments they wish hadn’t happened, but the human race is so resilient. I swear - you lot never fail to surprise me. Just when you think everything is over and nothing can ever get better you find a way to persevere. You’re amazing. No wonder I keep coming back to your planet, never fails to surprise me.’

‘Thank you,’ Yaz said quietly, a solitary tear dripping down her cheek as her Nani makes her way arm in the arm down the aisle with the man Yaz knows to be her grandad.

‘Thank _you,_ Yaz,’ the Doctor said softly. ‘And thank you for listening to me and not trying to change anything. The universe is better with you in it.’


End file.
